Some time ago, we showcased a skit, one of many of ours fitting snugly in the "abortive joke" sub genre. In it was featured a man of vague ethnic parentage whose undefined but seemingly dearth-influenced culture, we decided (owing to one of our better but purely accidental instances of impromptu backstory), places inordinate emphasis on over-sized objects as a form of humor; shoes, stock animals, pinecones, and so on. Regarding the latter, our stock fish-out-of-water foreign character posed the question to his erstwhile conversational partner: "What kind of tree is making such huge pinecone?"
Well apparently, life imitates our meager art: there are, we have discovered, indeed such things as produce massively oversized pinecones, and they go by either the mundane name of bunya pines, or the aggressively delightful name of Araucaria bidwillii. With this revelation in mind (and surely, there will be little else that will be able to occupy it for the near future), I am announcing the official renaming of The Proper Villains to The Bidwillii Bros.
Expect varied and drastic measures to promote ourselves under the new and improved monicker; a haunting trademark will soon adorn coffee mugs, t shirts, and soon too, hopefully, everything from cell phone skins to feminine hygiene products. So frenzied shall be the attempt to propagate our name, for naught but the sheer love of the featured word, that I predict there will be no recourse ultimately but to stage a massive press conference, wherein our brief but forgivable careers will culminate in a stunning and audacious live-broadcast wherein we stand at three points on a stage and simultaneously shoot each other fatally, to ensure that we never live to dishonor the name.
The sincerest fact of the matter is that we, like in all endeavors, conducted no research nor cogitated in advance on any significant portion of the script, such as it was. Indeed, even on those few days where we can devote our spare time to rewrites and editing, most of it is occupied by Nick having to comb each page for and to remove the many passive-aggressive barbs I unvaryingly direct at our director and actors in each script, subtly slipped into the slug and action lines on every page. Think, INT.- JUSTIN'S FETID APARTMENT or Suddenly, Kyle's corpselike visage assails the screen. It's pretty great.
A minor aside is how happy I am that, after nothing short of hours of cajoling, I finally managed to compel Écouter Kyle to begin an otherwise innocuous scene with a stifling moment of black lead-in, followed by a Law & Order-style metal-clang "shocking" sound effect, something I have wanted to accomplish for ages. Basically I'd start a kid's show like that.
Sadly, there was to my infinite chagrin, no eerie turn-of-the-century harmonica-laden blues music featuring a gravel-voiced old black vocalist to play in the background, which I thought would be somehow ideal for this scene. At least, until the "troubles" begin at about 2:25, at which point we were delighted to find that Final Cut Pro supplied us with an ideal stock recording of a humming bird supping on a flower's nectar. Perhaps someday, should we be supplied something suitably public domain (probably very doable, given the anachronistic nature of my mad master vision) a director's cut type edition can happen.
I'm not really sure why the "big pinecone" guy made his debut as part of this strangely meta joke about editing one of our own films, but I can only assume it was a desperate conflation of several ideas caused by the pressure of having absolutely no time to devote to these things. What other mischief I might have deemed an ideal vehicle for the guy I'm not sure, but I distinctly remember at one point entertaining a primitive scenario wherein this character had some kind of voyeuristic obsession with watching people prepare pancakes, so maybe having him vapor-lock in this oddball non-sequitur is just as well.
Good night, and good luck.
--Keith R.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Read About Tornadoes
With a new year comes a new, terrifying ocean of opportunities for failure to jump you like a gunsel in the night.
Appropriately enough 2012 shall present itself as the year of the Nihilist. We'll someday soon premier Harold, a character from the dark, doom-addled recesses of our minds who contends with the pressures of proselytization in the new decade, matters of economic import, and the stark inevitability of the destruction of all things good and pure in the world.
With Harold, we have on display a small sampling of what I call the Greater Gayness and Sadness Theorem. That being, that the world we inhabit is directed by twin forces of gayness and sadness, and these are the influences that color the majority of events on this planet and beyond. It's a bit like Yin and Yang, only the relationships between these forces and the state of things can be summarized more succinctly: any event that is sad or wrong or generally disagreeable to the sensibilities of decent folk can be chalked up to the basic nature of the universe at large.
Don't mistake this for simple cynicism, mind. The Greater Gayness and Sadness Theorem does not contend that good things are impossible; indeed such anomalies are well accounted for. Consider the phenomena of a cyclone, where opposing air currents will wrap over and around each other to create a whirling vortex, in the center of which is found a spot of perfect calm. Similarly, when the natural forces of the universe find themselves situated in perfect counterpoint, there is in the midst of their turmoil an 'eye '. With the evils of reality held- however briefly- at bay, such feelings as joy, love and general satisfaction are able to be experienced unabated, as the storm-tossed sea of Despair roils unceasingly 'round us.
However, like the noble dust devil, such occurrences are few and fleeting indeed, and ere long the natural order is reinstated. The best one can do is recognize the signs and seize the opportunity to enjoy your time in the Eye's midst so long as you may, and if possible, try to move along in your life in such a way that you might yet keep apace of it a while, until the inexorable Despair overtakes you again.
We also kill a gnome. We kill a gnome in one of our "stories."
Another recent development of relative import to our diminutive enterprise has been the production of an ad- per the parlance, that is, a Super Bowl ad.
I should probably qualify this seemingly audaciously false proclamation with the esoteric insight that said ad is made, free of commission, to be aired on Air Force Network Korea's mirror broadcast of the Games in conjunction with the live event back stateside. So, not quite the kind of full-blown exposure would have been to be had from the more traditional venue, but still an exciting prospect is that of a much wider-reaching exposure than reddit alone, with the added benefit of probably being about as much of an outreach as we really warrant with our current workmanlike, but admittedly crude production quality.
Besides this, producing an "amusing" commercial to feature in any capacity during this thing is s much a staple of American culture as surely are cookouts, frivolous lawsuits and police brutality.
The real challenge was to generate something that would be deemed suitable by the venerable Everyman to be fit for general broadcast- in stark contrast to our usual fare. (Members of our modest following might note that our most viewed skit is 100% about crediting Satan- who is the antichrist- for the successful congregation of neighbor and stranger alike on our more tender and intimate of holidays.)
So, basically, though any reference to our Super Bowl ad should really be printed with a substantially emboldened asterisk astride it, it's fascinating to think that we have successfully infiltrated the airwaves of old media with news of our terrible trade. It was also a fun challenge; naturally anything for TV would be hard to do because everything we ever think of as fertile comedy soil is colored in our twin hues of sadness or gayness- see again the opening paragraph- and we're interested to see what impact if any this will have on our viewership population.
As for the ad itself, our loyal fiend Ruggles was the brainparent of the entity that will (fate willing) grace the television screens of many a stunned captive audience member in the near future- though I do not want to spoil its contents here before the air date. (Whenever the hell the Super Bowl is.) There were however a few other ideas generated, among which this and one other idea were determined to be ideal candidates.
The one that didn't make the cut- due primarily to time constraints- featured a board room executive importuning a room full of lifeless dolls for innovative marketing concepts- all while complaining of some phantom heat source. Our final ad message was to be splayed across the screen as his tremulous pleading for answers faded to silence, an ominous humming audible throughout. You know, comedy!
Another idea I came up with today (though not necessarily for an ad, but I like to think in an alternate universe it would have made for a delightful run indeed) features a vampire scoffing at a crucifix held aloft by his would-be vanquisher, declaring that he fears only "real Gods"- only then to be terminated by an errant Tiki statue. I am resolv'd to make this idea a reality, worked into some glorious larger context, ideally, but ILM hasn't been taking my calls and I simply cannot manage without realistic face melting effects.
Appropriately enough 2012 shall present itself as the year of the Nihilist. We'll someday soon premier Harold, a character from the dark, doom-addled recesses of our minds who contends with the pressures of proselytization in the new decade, matters of economic import, and the stark inevitability of the destruction of all things good and pure in the world.
With Harold, we have on display a small sampling of what I call the Greater Gayness and Sadness Theorem. That being, that the world we inhabit is directed by twin forces of gayness and sadness, and these are the influences that color the majority of events on this planet and beyond. It's a bit like Yin and Yang, only the relationships between these forces and the state of things can be summarized more succinctly: any event that is sad or wrong or generally disagreeable to the sensibilities of decent folk can be chalked up to the basic nature of the universe at large.
Don't mistake this for simple cynicism, mind. The Greater Gayness and Sadness Theorem does not contend that good things are impossible; indeed such anomalies are well accounted for. Consider the phenomena of a cyclone, where opposing air currents will wrap over and around each other to create a whirling vortex, in the center of which is found a spot of perfect calm. Similarly, when the natural forces of the universe find themselves situated in perfect counterpoint, there is in the midst of their turmoil an 'eye '. With the evils of reality held- however briefly- at bay, such feelings as joy, love and general satisfaction are able to be experienced unabated, as the storm-tossed sea of Despair roils unceasingly 'round us.
However, like the noble dust devil, such occurrences are few and fleeting indeed, and ere long the natural order is reinstated. The best one can do is recognize the signs and seize the opportunity to enjoy your time in the Eye's midst so long as you may, and if possible, try to move along in your life in such a way that you might yet keep apace of it a while, until the inexorable Despair overtakes you again.
We also kill a gnome. We kill a gnome in one of our "stories."
Another recent development of relative import to our diminutive enterprise has been the production of an ad- per the parlance, that is, a Super Bowl ad.
I should probably qualify this seemingly audaciously false proclamation with the esoteric insight that said ad is made, free of commission, to be aired on Air Force Network Korea's mirror broadcast of the Games in conjunction with the live event back stateside. So, not quite the kind of full-blown exposure would have been to be had from the more traditional venue, but still an exciting prospect is that of a much wider-reaching exposure than reddit alone, with the added benefit of probably being about as much of an outreach as we really warrant with our current workmanlike, but admittedly crude production quality.
Besides this, producing an "amusing" commercial to feature in any capacity during this thing is s much a staple of American culture as surely are cookouts, frivolous lawsuits and police brutality.
The real challenge was to generate something that would be deemed suitable by the venerable Everyman to be fit for general broadcast- in stark contrast to our usual fare. (Members of our modest following might note that our most viewed skit is 100% about crediting Satan- who is the antichrist- for the successful congregation of neighbor and stranger alike on our more tender and intimate of holidays.)
So, basically, though any reference to our Super Bowl ad should really be printed with a substantially emboldened asterisk astride it, it's fascinating to think that we have successfully infiltrated the airwaves of old media with news of our terrible trade. It was also a fun challenge; naturally anything for TV would be hard to do because everything we ever think of as fertile comedy soil is colored in our twin hues of sadness or gayness- see again the opening paragraph- and we're interested to see what impact if any this will have on our viewership population.
As for the ad itself, our loyal fiend Ruggles was the brainparent of the entity that will (fate willing) grace the television screens of many a stunned captive audience member in the near future- though I do not want to spoil its contents here before the air date. (Whenever the hell the Super Bowl is.) There were however a few other ideas generated, among which this and one other idea were determined to be ideal candidates.
The one that didn't make the cut- due primarily to time constraints- featured a board room executive importuning a room full of lifeless dolls for innovative marketing concepts- all while complaining of some phantom heat source. Our final ad message was to be splayed across the screen as his tremulous pleading for answers faded to silence, an ominous humming audible throughout. You know, comedy!
Another idea I came up with today (though not necessarily for an ad, but I like to think in an alternate universe it would have made for a delightful run indeed) features a vampire scoffing at a crucifix held aloft by his would-be vanquisher, declaring that he fears only "real Gods"- only then to be terminated by an errant Tiki statue. I am resolv'd to make this idea a reality, worked into some glorious larger context, ideally, but ILM hasn't been taking my calls and I simply cannot manage without realistic face melting effects.
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